YOUR EDUCATION WAS NOT WASTED

My daughter Rachel, husband Nate and their two children Evelyn age 2, and Douglas age 1 (plus dog Odie)


Today being Mother's Day, I wanted to share a topic that my daughter Rachel addressed on her blog a couple of days ago.  She lives in Idaho and had read an article she found on KSL news written by a journalist by trade, but currently a full-time mom. The journalist had been invited to address a class of high school students regarding career choices.  She fielded the expected questions about how to choose which college to go to, how did she decide on a major, etc.  The she was hit by a question she wasn't expecting- why go to college when you are just going to be a stay-at-home mom? She responded with the usual,  to provide for herself and her family in case of the death or disability of her husband.

But if she had the chance to respond to that question after some pondering she would answer that being a mother is a very difficult job and that one needs to get all the education and preparation for that job one can possibly get. After all, C.S. Lewis said that "the homemaker is the ultimate career.  All other careers exist simply to support it."

I would absolutely agree that no matter what you get your college degree in, it will not be wasted in a job as a full time mother.  You will need every skill and all the knowledge possible to succeed at what I think is the most important career choice possible.  The rearing and educating of the next generation.

You wouldn't leave your child at a day care with unlicensed or untrained workers for a few hours, why don't children deserve at least the same level of preparation from the parent that cares for them the rest of the day. 

Heather Hale, the writer of the KSL article declares that "motherhood is the most noble, challenging and intellectually stimulating profession on the planet."

I wholeheartedly agree.

SUBMARINER

This is Maggie, a 9 year old Springer Spaniel that loves to dive for rocks.  Here, she is intently watching the water for the "tell tale splash" that means I have thrown a rock into the water for her to retrieve. If this was a video, you would notice that her little stub of a tail is furiously wagging, telling me "ok, I'm ready- throw it".

Other dogs like balls. Note the one in the Golden's mouth. Maggie is not like other dogs, she prefers rocks.  Here, she has seen the splash  and she goes to work.

Found it!!

RIGHT HAND MAN

Since Chuck travels so much, I am very grateful to have Jared living at home while he is going to college. He is tall so he can reach things I cannot, he is strong so he can lift things I cannot, and he is cheerful about doing it.  Plus, he makes the best guacamole, ever!!

He stays busy attending daily classes, going to institute, working out daily at the gym and tending his garden.  He helps out around the house by getting the trash out for pickup every week and doing the dishes every night after dinner. 

He is a huge help around the house.  He spent all morning today cleaning out gutters. He often helps me with yard work, and he even washed my car this week!

He is thoughtful.  When he leaves the house, he asks if there is anything I need him to do before he goes. Then he asks if there is anything I need for him to pick up while he is out.

We are somewhat competitive about our respective gardens.  He has a vegetable garden, and I have a flower garden.  We both have our own little secrets to making our garden succeed.  We share them with one another, but I don't agree with his methods and he doesn't agree with mine.  I have learned my methods by trial and error over the past 25 years.  Jared has learned his by a lot of reading and research and following experts advice. Somehow, at the end of the season, both gardens are gorgeous even though our approaches are totally different.

Jared is very nutrition conscious.  He has a very healthy diet and teaches me a lot about nutrition.  Any food that I pick up, Jared can tell me off the top of his head what the nutrient content of it is.  We share a love of herbal teas, and love to try new ones to receive healthful benefits.  Chuck recently bought us a Ninja blender and the whole family has gotten into "juicing" and smoothies.  We are whipping up green smoothies daily with spinach and kale. Jared is very good about being able to eat things that are good for him even if it doesn't taste that great.  Me? Not so much.

Jared is very interested in current events and learning new things.  He has a subscriptions to the magazines "The Economist", "National Geographic" and "Snowboarder".  He is very politically aware and a very independent thinker. His opinions are always thoughtful and well researched.

To sum it up, he is an amazing young man, one that a mother could be proud of- in fact, I am. Very.

DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

 

It is warming up here in the Northwest. Which means we are consistently above 60 degrees.  We have even hit 70 degrees once so far, and the next few days promise to bring a few more 70 degree days.

Above is Dexter who has discovered that the fountain in his front yard is just his size.  On warm days he gets in it and lies down right on top of the bubbler.  What a chill dog. Literally. When they say that Golden Retrievers are water dogs, he certainly lives up to his reputation.  If there is water any where around, you cannot keep him out of it.  Even if it is just a mud hole, he will plop himself down in it. Of course, he loves to swim and he goes nuts if you turn on a sprinkler or a hose. During warm days I always take my pack to the water so they can swim and exercise without overheating.

The ground is warming up enough for Jared to rototill and put in his vegetable garden last Saturday.  My flower garden is exploding.  My tulips are just past full bloom and starting to fade just as my oriental poppies are close to blooming. My peonies have buds on them as well.  The apple and pear tree are in full bloom. This is a gorgeous time in the Northwest when the Rhododendrons and the Lilacs come into bloom.

I have worked in my garden weeding every single day this week, which also means I have gotten into the hot tub every evening to soothe my sore muscles. There is something so zen about gardening.  Communing with nature, pondering life's problems while one digs in the dirt.  Nurturing growing things.  It just puts me in a good mood and makes me happy.  And you know what they say about if Momma ain't happy..........

ELDER UTHAICHAI

Sam is in the mission field in Indiana!  His first area is a town called Kokomo.  Sounds like a Beach Boys song!.  I don't think it is tropical, however.  Apparently it is named after an Indian. He has only been there 5 days, but has been told that the ward is very supportive and feeds them and DOES THEIR LAUNDRY (really?????). Hope that's true, cause Sam can wash clothes really well, but ironing is not really in his repertoire.

 The above picture is Sam with his companion in the MTC. He loved the MTC.  He loved everything about it.  He loved his district, his companion with whom he got to practice his Spanish, he loved his teachers, his mission president, and most especially the food.  Doesn't he look a little chubby?  We will see if he continues to put on weight in the mission field, when he has to cook for himself. 

Rachel has set up a blog to post all the emails and pictures he sends; so check it out at
"elderuthaichai.blogspot.com".

BEST BUDS

Yesterday Chuck and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary.  On one hand it seems like it has gone by very fast, but on the other hand, it seems as if I have known Chuck my whole life.  It is hard to remember what life was like before I met him. He has been such an important part of my life. It is his strength that I build my world around.

  We have been together through the death of 3 of our 4 parents (my Dad died before Chuck and I met), the death of a sibling (my brother Mike), the birth and raising of our three children, as well as having (at last count) 30 foster children in our home for various lengths of time over the years.

We have survived the turbulence that Chuck's employment has brought our way. Although he has worked for the same company for the past 30+ years, we have been moved, merged, bought out multiple times, downsized repeatedly, faced layoffs every 3 or 4 years, launched new drugs, seen drugs taken from the market, won sales contests and been sent on all-expense European trips, been promoted, then demoted as downsizings rolled through, moved  around to different job positions, different job descriptions, and had his territory or district reconfigured repeatedly. Chuck has always had to travel a great deal as part of his assignments.  His job is in a constant state of flux.

Through this wild ride, Chuck is still the person I want to see first thing every morning, and the last person I want to talk to at night. Because he is on the road so much, a night time telephone call just before we go to bed is part of our routine, to catch up on the days activities and to say goodnight.

My daughter Rachel says we are total opposites, and in some ways that is true. Chuck is very athletic, and needs to be busy all the time.  I love to sit by the fire with a good book. Any activity we do, Chuck is bored if it isn't action packed, physically- no sightseeing for him!!  He wants to be riding a bike, or riding ATV's, skiing or working out in a gym. On the other hand, my motto is "I'd rather bleed than sweat". Chuck hates animals, which I love. He is very computer savvy, whereas, I can barely send an email. I love old things, antiques, buildings, places with a heritage.  Chuck likes all things new, houses, or communities. I love to shop at thrift and consignment stores, Chuck loves the mall. I am very trusting and he is very cynical. I am accepting of the way things are, Chuck rails at the injustices in the world. Chuck bristles at authority figures, where I respond meekly. He is very determined and tenacious, where I give up easily and decide it just wasn't meant to be.

With all of our differences, we are absolutely in tune in all of our core beliefs: the gospel of Jesus Christ, putting a top priority on home and family, that a Mom's place is in the home, on a wholesome environment for ourselves and our children, that lives should be lived with honesty and integrity, and we find true joy in serving others.

 So while our personalities and preferred pastimes may be at odds at times, our core character and values never are. That, it seems has been a successful basis for a marriage.  The rest has just been evidence that "opposites attract" and has made life very interesting.  Because we are so different we have had the opportunity to expose and be exposed to things we would have never seen or done otherwise.  It has been an adventure!  Which is the best possible definition for marriage. 

FOCUS

The great thing about walking dogs is that you can get their attention. 

 It is SO different from raising kids. When raising kids, you expend so much energy just trying to get them to listen to you, then do what you say.  You invest a lot of mental effort into devising schemes to accomplish this. Charts, stickers, bribes, rewards, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, time outs, and as a last resort yelling and screaming.

Dogs are easy.  If you are moving, they want to move with you. If you want them to lead, walk slowly.  If you want them to go where you want them to go, move quickly and they will follow.  If you are standing still and you know what motivates them, usually a ball or a treat, they will fixate on you to see what you are going to do with whatever one is in your hand. If you want them to obey, you find their motivation button and push it. 

 They learn they are rewarded for requested behaviors and they will continue to repeat those requested behaviors as long as their motivators are present. At least in the beginning when they are learning the behavior.  After they have learned the command and behavior reliably, you start to only reward them for every other time they perform, then every third time, etc.  It becomes the difference between putting a dollar in a vending machine, and putting a dollar in a slot machine.   If they continue to be rewarded long term for every performance, its like the vending machine: they decide they don't have to work if the reward is not there consistently.  Just like you won't continue to put money in a vending machine that doesn't give you candy.  But if they have learned to continue the behavior to get an occasional reward, they are willing to be patient and hope each performance will trigger the payoff, much like a slot machine.

Children are so much more complicated.  First of all, their motivators are so much more varied, and constantly changing.  Second of all, kids know how the system works and are constantly negotiating for a better payoff. Everything is in a constant state of flux.  What worked yesterday with one kid, won't work today with another. It is like reinventing the wheel every. single. day.