BEST BUDS

Yesterday Chuck and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary.  On one hand it seems like it has gone by very fast, but on the other hand, it seems as if I have known Chuck my whole life.  It is hard to remember what life was like before I met him. He has been such an important part of my life. It is his strength that I build my world around.

  We have been together through the death of 3 of our 4 parents (my Dad died before Chuck and I met), the death of a sibling (my brother Mike), the birth and raising of our three children, as well as having (at last count) 30 foster children in our home for various lengths of time over the years.

We have survived the turbulence that Chuck's employment has brought our way. Although he has worked for the same company for the past 30+ years, we have been moved, merged, bought out multiple times, downsized repeatedly, faced layoffs every 3 or 4 years, launched new drugs, seen drugs taken from the market, won sales contests and been sent on all-expense European trips, been promoted, then demoted as downsizings rolled through, moved  around to different job positions, different job descriptions, and had his territory or district reconfigured repeatedly. Chuck has always had to travel a great deal as part of his assignments.  His job is in a constant state of flux.

Through this wild ride, Chuck is still the person I want to see first thing every morning, and the last person I want to talk to at night. Because he is on the road so much, a night time telephone call just before we go to bed is part of our routine, to catch up on the days activities and to say goodnight.

My daughter Rachel says we are total opposites, and in some ways that is true. Chuck is very athletic, and needs to be busy all the time.  I love to sit by the fire with a good book. Any activity we do, Chuck is bored if it isn't action packed, physically- no sightseeing for him!!  He wants to be riding a bike, or riding ATV's, skiing or working out in a gym. On the other hand, my motto is "I'd rather bleed than sweat". Chuck hates animals, which I love. He is very computer savvy, whereas, I can barely send an email. I love old things, antiques, buildings, places with a heritage.  Chuck likes all things new, houses, or communities. I love to shop at thrift and consignment stores, Chuck loves the mall. I am very trusting and he is very cynical. I am accepting of the way things are, Chuck rails at the injustices in the world. Chuck bristles at authority figures, where I respond meekly. He is very determined and tenacious, where I give up easily and decide it just wasn't meant to be.

With all of our differences, we are absolutely in tune in all of our core beliefs: the gospel of Jesus Christ, putting a top priority on home and family, that a Mom's place is in the home, on a wholesome environment for ourselves and our children, that lives should be lived with honesty and integrity, and we find true joy in serving others.

 So while our personalities and preferred pastimes may be at odds at times, our core character and values never are. That, it seems has been a successful basis for a marriage.  The rest has just been evidence that "opposites attract" and has made life very interesting.  Because we are so different we have had the opportunity to expose and be exposed to things we would have never seen or done otherwise.  It has been an adventure!  Which is the best possible definition for marriage.